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I’m not sure about you but 2019 is the year!! For what you ask.
To get get off my A*^€@)& and move faster toward my dreams and purpose. I have been moving forward but at a snails pace. This is unacceptable because I know I can be more, do more and give more.
Are you just like me? Been doing some stuff that you want to do, yet not fully 100% committed to MAKE IT HAPPEN and get to where you want to be.
I for one have had enough of listening to my own excuses and “reasons” why I don’t have time to do what I know can move me forward....blah, blah, blah!!!!
For over 10 years now I have believed that our school systems have let us down. Sure the three R’s are important and I’ll even admit that I should have paid more attention in advanced composition. However, they missed the boat by not teaching any life skills like relationships, money and leadership. Heck not even colleges cover that stuff. Yes, I know what you’re saying, that’s what Mom’s and Dad’s are supposed to do. My mom did talk about these things but her view of the world was limited by her experiences. Why not have a variety of ideas and experiences to draw from when it comes to such important and intimate topics such as relationships, money and leadership.
So stay tuned for updates on my journey of sharing my beliefs with the world on my way to becoming a respected life coach, trainer and dynamic speaker.
Be kind and do good things....The Wolfe
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Why did we create this website? What is our plan/goal for this site? How can it benefit you?
THe truth is I, Richard Wolfe aka "The Wolfe", have been talking about sharing with the world what I have learned and believe about life for at least 9 years now. I have shared my thoughts and ideas with my close circle of friends, fellow Toastmasters and co-workers and those I come in contact with here in Lafayette, LA. As for making time to share these thoughts and ideas with the world, I have been an epic failure in this regard.
TODAY is a new day!! Febuary 2, 2018 begins my new journey to document, create and share with you, the internet world and community, my thoughts, ideas, beliefs, values and my journey over the past 51 years to where I am today.
My plan is to share via blog, video, audio and pdf downloads the journey to creating an internet training, coaching and speaking business. The ultimate goal is simple, TO HELP PEOPLE, that's it. Many years ago, probably 10+, on my Linked In page I posted some of my basic thoughts and stated that my philosophy was "HOW CAN I HELP" and it is truly that simple. I always want to help others around me. As i grew up working in the restaurant business I was always serving people. I first started waiting tables in an all you can eat seafood restuarant in North Carolina where I grew up. I later moved to Louisiana and worked at a Godfathers Pizza, Western Sizzlin(yes I am dating myself here) then Burger King, Sonic, Applebee's, Raising Canes and O'Charley's. I worked my way into the management ranks at every company, but ultimately I was serving and helping people. SO it has just kind of stuck with me.
I have to admit here that I have by no means been perfect in this "HOW CAN I HELP" philosophy. I did a bad job early on in my marriage of HELPING around the house or at home with the family. The restuarant business required alot of TIME at the business to ensure things ran well, numbers and profits were under control and that the operation ran the way it was supposed to run. ALL THAT TOOK TIME. TIme away from my family, time away from other things I'd rather do, but it was all in an effort to PROVIDE for my family, so "I have to work to pay the bills" was said this ALOT. No one back in those days taught me anything about balance. As I look back it was almost like work first and family second, which is what I did for many, many years.
I learned alot in the restuarant business, but it was at the expense of family and marriage. I was around and fortunate to have an AWESOME WIFE, Julie, to manage the household and raise our 2 children, Amber and Ryan. Many times when I was home I was tired and would fall asleep. We did stuff, but looking back now I wish I would have been more intentional and deliberate about that time at home. We had a few vacations but not alot and their were challenges in the marriage, we actually split up for 1 year, but now we have a great relationship and 2 great children. Ryan lives in D.C. and Amber here in Louisiana and we have a great family dynamic. Looking back I could have done better.
This leads to the REAL REASON for my "HOW CAN I HELP" philosophy. Looking back in time I wish I would have had someone to teach me about developing myself, family and finances.
I don't say this to put blame on anyone at all. I was raised by a single Mom and she worked to provide, i would stay with my Grandmother while she worked and we did okay. I can't give you a bad story about my upbringing because I think it was all pretty average. Today 31% of children are raised in a home with only 1 parent and of those 79% are women. Point is it is not uncommon today, even back in 1967 it was around 25%. So in my opinion I was an average kid raised in an average lower middle class home. My Mom, Gloria, was and is GREAT. As I look back she was more of a protector than anything. She took good care of me with the help of my Grandmother. There were a few step dads but none that really contributed much except a few more dollars to cover the bills and buy food and a couple of extra presents at Christmas. They did nothing to teach me life skills, money skills, or even work/career skills. I am sure Mom and I had conversations but I can't remember anything specific that I have applied. I learned from books and supervisors I worked with mostly. Many of the supervisors I worked with I learned what not to do, but there were some good examles as well.
I had several men in my life that I consider Mentors that taught me alot about my career and some about life, but most of my learning came from mistakes, failures and reading books.
There is more to the story but this gives you a quick history until next time.
Next time I'll tell you about when I made the change to get into sales from restuarant management. That curve was an interesting one.
Ultimately I want to share with the world my beliefs and what I have found to be true about life during my journey thus far. I wish I would have had someone to tell/teach me a few strategies to shorten my learning curve in my marriage, my finances and my career development specifically leadership.
Simply put if I can help people of any age learn better realtionship/marriage skills, financial and leadership skills then this website and company that I am creating will be a success. Now if I can help the current Milennial generation learn these same skills then WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD!
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3/11/2018 Update to this post...
I am adding to this post because my vision and beliefs about leadership has changed somewhat, well I believe it is more of an update.
Leadership is influence without question. Now I feel that we can add to that statement empathy, compassion and consideration. SO here is the update...Leadership is deploying empathy, compassion and consideration for the people that we influence.
I have come to realize that leadership needs, no it must be, to be consistent across all areas of life. At work is where we usually think of leadership. We many times forget that we are leaders at home, on the soccer field, in the communities we serve and in the workplace.
In the workplace many leaders believe they must be tough, hard and keep a firm line for the team or company. Well I say NO and yes! Again being a good leader is about treating the people well, fairly and with empathy. Yes there will be times that you'll have to discipline, reprimand or even fire. This can all be done with respect and diginity.
Expectations are key here. Have you set a realistic and specific expecatation of what you want to see from them. Again, in all areas. I know it sounds wierd to set expectations at home, but guess what. We do this everyday with our actions. What we do, say and how we act with our family is setting the expectation of how they will or should act.
Many times in a marriage we allow the wife/spouse to lead the family issues and concerns. Just like in the workplace we have to be leaders everywhere we are. Not overbearing, not obnoxius but empathetic, compassionate and considerate of those around us, that is true leadership. We may not agree with others and their views but we can be open and listen. Agree to disagree as Dale Carnegie puts it.
We should teach and model leadership to our families and children at ever moment. Sure we will make mistakes and lose our cool, but the leadership shows when we admit the mistake, own up to it, apologize when necessary and show others how to move on and continue the journey.
In addition, I will be holding a Leadership Training on March 15th, 21st and 29th at the Opportunity Machine 537 Cajundome Blvd Lafayette, LA 70506. Contact me if you'd like to attend. firstname.lastname@example.org
Yes leadership always starts with us. See leadership it very simply influence and we all influence someone.
Think about it, we all have someone in our life we influence especially ourselves. The real question is are we doing this on a positive or a negative note?
I believe that as leaders the first person we MUST lead is ourselves. When we start with ourselves it sets the tone for others to follow and we then begin to build the confidence in ourselves to then work with others. As we gain responsibility outside of ourselves this leadership grows, but we need to be mindful of how this plays out.
Neglecting to do the work to be a solid role model can become a problem in career and home life.
Becoming an intentional leader is important as well. True leadership is all about people and when the people are good then we can get to work on managing the tasks and making things happen. These aren't mutually exclusive, I have found that we lead the people and then we manage the tasks and do the work to reach a desired outcome.
Leadership is the "how" and management is the "what", leaders say let's go and start down the path to toward the vision. But it all starts with why...
Until next time...The Wolfe